Tina Grey is a young girl has 19 years old, she never dated a person. She feels ashamed of that. She wants to put herself there and try but she got a weird feeling. She’s afraid of doing it, especially with this pandemic. She’s not quite sure how to proceed, Any advice for a 19-year-old novice to all things relationships and dating?

Whenever you’re ready is the right time.

Let me start by saying that you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Sure, never having dated by the age of 19 is rare, but it doesn’t make it abnormal, because “normal” doesn’t exist. Some people begin sexual and romantic exploration as soon as they reach adolescence, while others, such as those who identify as aromantic, never feel the need to date at all. The extremities of the spectrum, as well as any condition in between, are all just OK.

But, because you’ve stated a willingness to “put yourself out there,” let’s also talk about how to modify your circumstances. You’re correct in thinking that some of my advice in a normal year—accept every party invitation, join a new club or activity, spread the word among your friends—will simply not work during a pandemic. There are no party invitations for those who take COVID-19 seriously. There are no packed bars to go to among states actively monitoring their cases, and many non-drinking organized activities have shifted to Zoom or have been halted entirely. Colder weather is on the way for parts of the country, which means that the outdoor activities we could have enjoyed over the summer will be reduced.

It is all true, and it’s a great disappointment. However, if early statistics and reports are any indicators, the way dating has altered under COVID-19 may turn out to be a silver lining for someone in your circumstance.

Listen to what I’m saying: Interestingly, single people who used dating apps during the epidemic indicated that they took things more slowly than they did before COVID. They’re also being more deliberate about who they’re conversing with; according to a recent Hinge user poll, 69 percent of them are “thinking more about who they’re actually seeking for.” Chats can last for weeks before there is ever an expectation or chance of meeting up. And video chats, which many people regard as low-pressure versions of dating, have become more common. Someone like you, who has never dated before and may be hesitant about IRL meets or physical touch, may benefit from a slower, more deliberate burn.

But, before you go into the applications, I’d advise you to think about your goals, like Hinge users have done. When you mention “date,” it might imply anything: Do you wish to have your first romantic experience? Do you want to experiment with your sexuality without making a commitment? Do you only want to learn the fundamentals of flirting and the ritual of spending non-platonic time with someone? Do you have any specific items you wish to try, or things you absolutely do not want to attempt? Choose an app that corresponds to your level of preparedness, and make it obvious on your profile (in a nice way, of course) why you’re here. And, pandemic or not, I still encourage being honest with your pals about your desires. They might not be able to organize an elaborate run-in at their birthday party, but they could surely set up the digital version of a blind date—or at the very least a blind flirt.

Let’s imagine you reach the talking stage of dating (which may last a long time in a nice manner!) and you’re scared about going on. My advice is to explain openly and vulnerably that you’re new at this, that you’re a little terrified, but also eager and open to new experiences. I’m not going to lie: some individuals may feel uncomfortable dating a complete stranger. Rejection will not feel good—and it will never, ever feel nice, even if you do get some dating experience. But it’s preferable to an unpleasant moment later when you’re more involved in the individual with whom you’re conversing. It’s far preferable to having to conceal your inexperience while secretly freaking out. Since you want to discover someone who would be patient with you from the start, honesty is essential.

Furthermore, learning to accept and overcome rejection is a vital element of dating. Slowing down is fine, but you should never idealize your first, second, or third experiences since they will almost certainly not be ideal. Even while being a late bloomer might make one’s initial journey into dating feel deceptively high stakes, keep in mind that it doesn’t have to be that way. Twenty-four years old is still a youthful age, with plenty of opportunities to make errors and learn from them. Sex and romance, while enjoyable, uplifting, and even transforming at times, are fundamentally dangerous. You’ll have to try a lot of different things before you find your sexual and emotional bottom lines.

So what if you’re having a good time conversing and want to meet up with this person? The epidemic complicates things a little, but it’s not impossible. Meet somewhere outside for a socially distant walk—which may be less stressful than sitting across from one another at a restaurant table. If you believe things could become physical, talk about whether you’ve both been tested for COVID-19 in the same way you would if you were going to have protected intercourse, and think about who else you might endanger if you’re exposed. The pandemic may legitimately slow this section down, but in your situation, that’s not a negative thing.

Finally, as someone who raced through the dating process right after middle school, I can promise you that turning 19 comes with invaluable gifts of insight and maturity. Despite the fact that you’ve never dated, you have a lot more life knowledge than you had as a young adolescent. You probably know yourself better and are more comfortable expressing your boundaries. Use this to your advantage as you navigate this weird new world. Believe me when I tell it will be useful.